Hey you! You 98-pound weakling! You scrawny excuse for a recruiter who can’t fill out an extra-small sweater with your chicken arms. You’ve been spending time taking the easy way out, mass-emailing people on job boards, or pushing out ads to people who don’t care.

And I see you, you flabby talent acquisition pro, grown lazy over time, doing the same old things over and over without wondering why they return the same old result.

You both have similar problems and I have the solution. You need to join the Talent Acquisition Gym!

That’s right, here at the TAG, we’re serious about getting you into tip-top shape. We’ll help you turn those chicken wings into strong, shapely arms and shoulders, the kind that draw stares and resumes from top prospects. We’ll help you lose that gut and turn it into a six-pack, the kind that grows talent pools and Rolodexes.

We’ve taken thousands of recruiters, staffers, sources, talent marketers and talent acquisition professionals who couldn’t touch their toes, and turned them into elite marathoners. And we can do the same for you.

Step One: Get a plan!

A plan is crucial, and not just so you don’t spend too much time on things that aren’t helping you, but by helping you see the diversity of work it takes to get to where you want to go. A good plan is one part calendar, one part strategy and one part motivator. Every part of the plan is a step in the right direction, getting you closer to your goal of a beach-ready body and a huge audience.

Step Two: List what needs to get done!

Building up your buff talent acquisition bod means understanding all the different parts of the body that need to be worked out. Think just because you’re a runner you don’t need strong arms? Ha! Have you seen Usain Bolt’s arms? Exactly! So here are all the different parts of the body that most people try to forget working out:

SEO: Yes, Google still matters. Which means search engine optimization matters. Just creating a career site isn’t enough. You’ve got to check your rankings, adjust your meta data, create links and make all the little adjustments that make Google pay attention. Yes, it’s boring stuff, but it’s all worth it! Details on why SEO matters here.

Social Media: Sure, it sounds sexy to be on Facebook all day, but that’s not going to get you those tight calves. To make social media work for you, you’ll need to define your audiences, identify what content they want to read, and measure things. Without measurement, for this part or any other, you’ll never see how far you’ve come! Details on how to expand your social media impact here.

EVP: Like a nice set of biceps, definition is the key to drawing the right people. You need to know and reflect your employer value proposition. If people can’t tell the difference between you and your competitor, why would they choose to apply with you? You won’t have to work on this every day, but it will serve as a regular touch point to make sure you’re still on the right path. Details on the power of positioning here.

Content: Ugh. No one likes this exercise, but it’s the secret to all the other steps. Good content gets shared on social media, Google sees it for SEO value, and it helps you define yourself to your audience. So figure out how much content you need to make and start working. (Pro tip: The more you make content, the easier it gets to make content. So increase the weights as often as you can to get fit fast!) Details on why content still matters here.

Talent Pool: I bet you once put a form on your website to get people to … do something. It’s fuzzy, being so long ago. But that form has filled with names. And all your social and content work will start to grow that pool even faster, so you need a regular plan to actually communicate with them to keep them excited and engaged. Feel the burn! Details on how to better use your talent pool here.

ERP: If you aren’t using your current employees to find new prospective talent, you might as well just buy a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and sit on the couch for the rest of your life. At the Talent Acquisition Gym, we won’t stand for that. Give me five laps!

Education: Every day we can be learning new tricks and technology to turn us from flabby to fit. Plenty of companies (like ours) will happily invite you to webinars, write blog posts, send emails, and swing by your office to answer your questions. Your exercise plan requires that you flex your brain, too. So figure out who you like hearing from and listen.

Step Three: Schedule!

Take a look at all those exercises. You need to be creating content at least once a week, posting to social media at least twice a week, and working on engaging your talent pool once every other week. You could get lost unless you turn it into a schedule. Make Monday your social day, Tuesday your content day, Wednesday your ERP day, etc. Once a month, touch base with your SEO people and get your team together to check all your work against your EVP.

If you don’t make a schedule, you’re not taking this seriously, and this is not a gym for losers. Do it!

Step Four: Do it!

No excuses. Just get out there and do the work. And don’t stop.

That’s all there is to it. Measure your progress by counting your numbers (the ones that matter) and step on the scale once a week.

Yes, it is hard. Yes, it will make you want to give up and quit. But think about a year from now, when you’ll have a year’s worth of work behind you. You’ll be fit, strong, toned and the envy of anyone who sees you around the talent pool. Start today!

That’s the Talent Acquisition Gym’s guarantee!

You should follow me @thewarfortalent